Really? You want a review of THAT?
Let's not and say we did, k?
In brief, and for the record, I tried and prayed and worked and prayed, but in July I kicked my husband out of the house. It is comforting for me to know that I did everything I could, but in the end, I had to save my kids and myself. I can do hard things.
I'm sure I'll rehash some of that at a later date and possibly with a licensed therapist. Today I want to move on.
So we're moving to a new house February 1. Although I would've liked to stay in this house for the kids' sake, it was not to be, and it will be good to have a new start and a new place that is really mine. We're staying in the ward, so the kids are relieved and somewhat placated.
Here is my question today: I have a beautiful etched mirror hanging in my home that reads "Families are Forever." Do I re-hang that in the new house? It is certainly a true principle, but could it also be a painful reminder that not all of our family is forever? I have made sure my children understand that WE are still forever, the kids and I. However, not only are we now civilly divorced, he has chosen to have his name removed from the records of the church and renounced his belief in LDS doctrine. He has rejected his baptism and temple covenants.
Honestly, do I hang the mirror? I'm certainly going to hang up our temple pictures, and the other warm & fuzzy stuff that we find inspirational and comforting, but this...I'm not sure.
Families ARE forever. It's at the core of our beliefs and while a divorce changes things in this mortal life, it doesn't take away the sealing that is between you and your children. You may not be a family in the way you had anticipated and hoped and dreamed, but you are still sealed to your children and they to you, and you are still a "forever" family. My vote is to hang the mirror up in your new home. And may your new home be blessed with love and peace!
ReplyDeleteYES!
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, yes. Now, more than ever, yes. It would be weird to not hang it--it communicates more the family is 'broken' if you remove it now.
My husband is not LDS, but I attend the temple regularly, and my kids know I do, and they know when I go I take names from our family, both sides. And, my husband knows I do work for his family.
It's not about being a specific, nuclear family in heaven. It isn't possible. Forever families are really about getting to exaltation. As much as your children love you now, you know how much they will love their own children.
I don't know if this makes sense. But I do have a sense of what you're struggling with.
You and your children are still a family, so YES, keep the mirror!
ReplyDeleteIt may be a comfort to your kids to know that you still believe that principle is true. And yes, you and them ARE forever. And they can work towards that goal for themselves someday with their future families. I would re-hang the mirror.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely YES! My parents divorced a few years ago, but we still celebrate our "family day" (the day they were sealed - their civil wedding date was a different date). Even though their marriage is ended, our sealing is still intact. Even my siblings who don't speak to my father anymore want to celebrate family day because they are happy to be sealed to their siblings and mom.
ReplyDeleteI also think it's important for your children to see that even though things did not work out with your marriage, they should still have the goal to have a forever family when they marry. They need to see that this principle is still very important to you and that you want it for them in their future.
Hang the mirror and let it be a positive part of your life. Remember that you are still a part of a Heavenly Family, too. As you keep the covenants you've made, you are doing what you need to in order to be a part of Heavenly Father's Celestial "forever family", in addition to the sealing you have with your children. :)
Thanks so much, ladies! I know you're right. Its hard to know what to say and do to best help my children through this, but I do want them to know for certain that WE are forever. It's hard to even take that word seriously right now, but I realize that's where faith comes in, and I have to exercise mine! Thanks for your supportive thoughts.
ReplyDelete